BACK BREAKER: Near 500 lbs Squat Gone Wrong (Injury)

BACK BREAKER: Near 500 lbs Squat Gone Wrong (Injury)
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My Story

My name is Noah and on May 18 2011, I had a rare reaction to a vaccine called VIVITROL and consequently spiraled into a major, agitated, suicidal depression with depersonalization. I lost 25 lbs in 4 weeks and was in full panic or near panic for 8 weeks straight mixed with the darkest most painful depression I cold have ever imagined. I immediately could not work and had to move in with my parents who along with many siblings and friends had to watch me 24/7 as I was so suicidal. I was eventually hospitalized. Getting through each day seemed truly unbearable and I knew I would surely die. I have been put on many many different SSRI’s SNRI’s Tricyclics, Mood stabilizers, anti psychotics, holistic meds, acupuncture and even a form of shock therapy called RTMS. I barely saw any improvement in my condition for a full year. It was decided I had treatment resistant depression and I spent nearly every moment in tears. Weeks after starting my newest round of medications (Seroquel & Nortryptaline) as a last ditch effort, I had my blood drawn for possible hormone imbalances and my Testosterone levels came back 200 ng/Dl and 150 ng/Dl. The average 25 year old male has 750 ng/Dl. With this discovery I for the first time had any type of possible explanation as to why I was not getting better and why I might be so so sick. The symptoms of such Low T are very similar to those of major depression. I started Testosterone replacement therapy soon after and have been checking in with the world and documenting my experience with treatment as well as giving my insight and perspective on various topics of mental health. I am blessed to say that I have slowly, over the last 4 years, been improving and becoming more stable which I never thought to be possible. My low T manifested itself in the form of Major depression, anxiety, and depersonalization/ derealization for over a year. Gaining some mental stability back is nothing short of a miracle as I was near death for what felt like forever. I do not consider myself to be totally healed yet but I am closer now then ever before and aim to use what I have been through to help or at least offer support to others in need I was able to successfully come off my Seroquel and Pamelor.

I work out all the time as a part of my mental health recovery!!! Weight training and all kinds of cardio rule much of my free time!


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About the Author: bignoknow


  1. Love it man .. thank you for sharing your experiences .. that's helps a lot .. people are scared to do such things and its Natural .. Keep it up man X)

  2. I think you have good form and technique. This video just goes to show even experienced lifters can still get injured even if the technique is solid. Lifting heavy is no joke ,every rep requires 100% focus. I hope you have recovered from this injury. Been injured is no fun?

  3. You should’ve learned to low bar squat instead of keep pushing weight on high bar. Sad thing is you probably would’ve hit 490 if you learned and took time learning to set the bar under your trap near the rear delts…. sad man

  4. Fuck man! You have to stay with the bar when failing. Power rack, let the pins catch it on your way down. Or spotters help assist you back up. I hope you recover quick.

  5. If I'm heading for a PR…I usually hit 85% as a max…with lots of reps under 50% to make sure I'm feeling good. Then after a single at 85%, I go for it…then NEVER again. If I go above 85% then I'll never go for a PR…the odds are against you pulling it off.

  6. I'm not going to talk shit about CrossFit or power racks, I will however comment on your form. One thing that sticks out is how much wiggle you have in your lower back. You should get a proper leather power lifting style belt for heavy squats. Also brace your abs harder and stay hat way throughout the whole lift. I also noticed how when the weight gets heavy your knees slide forward to finish the rep.Stay mid foot, continue with your hip drive or "stay in your hips" the only reason your heels are not lifting off the ground is , I'm guessing, since your a CrossFitter you do all sorts on ankle mobility drills..

  7. Safety pins…. I am doing a negative at 500, no fear because I can just drop down if I need to.
    I have the ultimate home gym, friends are pussies and don't lift, won't spot me.
    Every gym should have a reverse hyper for lower back development.

  8. I just got off the gym after having a similar incident. Isquatted 100kg for 10 reps, then110 and 120kg for 8 reps. with good form imo. Then I went for 130kg (~290lbs) thinking of repping 6 like usual. During the 4th rep, as I was going down I lost my balance or something and the bar slipped off my back and dragged me down with quite the velocity. At first it was super painful and I thought I had snapped something for sure but then the pain kinda eased but after few hours my lower back is still aching. I tried to do some stretching and massaging but I think I'm gonna call an appointment for a doctor or something just to be sure nothing serious went down. Anyway I hope you're doing well and recovered and hope the same for me!

  9. This just happened to me on my last rep too… I was doing a just 135. I heard back sprains can happen even when you are doing lighter loads. Meh. Sucks. Im on rehab mode now.

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